A man is suing the City of New York for literally all the money on earth after being bitten by a dog.
Angry Anton Purisima, 62, has filed a 22-page lawsuit demanding two undecillion dollars – $2,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 – for injuries including an infected middle finger after he was nipped by a “rabid” dog on a bus.
Mr Purisima also complains that “a Chinese couple took unauthorised pictures” of him in hospital.
He claims his suffering can’t be repaired by money and is therefore “priceless” – hence his ludicrous demand.
He may be bonkers but he is not alone. Some people will sue anyone….even themselves!
Lag sues himself for millions over booze
Prisoner Robert Lee Brock sued HIMSELF for £2.3million, claiming he had violated his civil rights by getting drunk.
Brock, serving time for robbery, claimed his religion forbade him from boozing. But he said his arrest for grand larceny came after he “partook of alcoholic beverages”.
He said the US government should pay as he could not work while in jail in Virginia. A judge dismissed the case but praised Brock’s “innovative approach”.
Refusal to have sex with me is ageism
Playboy Rolf Eden sued a teenager for ageism in 2007 as she would not sleep with him.
German strip club owner Eden, right, then 77, was turned down by Katharina Weiss, 19, after wooing her with champagne.
Eden claimed to have bedded up to 3,000 women. Before dropping the lawsuit, he said: “It was shattering. No woman ever said that to me before.”
Comet crash messed up my horoscope
Russian astrologer Marina Bai sued Nasa for £170million saying her horoscope was distorted after the space agency crashed a probe into a comet.
She believed the Deep Impact strike on comet Tempel 1, 82 million miles from Earth in July 2005, had violated her “life and spiritual values”.
Tempel 1 was important to her because her grandfather had wooed her grandmother by showing her the comet.
But a physicist said the probe had no real effect on the comet’s trajectory.
I won a Renault Clio… it was 4in tall
Listener Cathy McGowan was overjoyed when a DJ on Radio Buxton, Derbys, told her she had won a Renault Clio.
But Cathy, 26, was given a 4in model of the car instead.
The DJ said it was a joke but she sued in 2001 for £8,000 – the price of the real thing.
A Derby crown court judge ruled the radio station had entered into a contract with Cathy – and ordered it to pay up.
Sick of being taken for Michael Jordan
Allen Heckard sued former basketball star Michael Jordan for looking like him.
Heckard, from Portland, Oregon, said in July 2006 the sportsman and Nike’s Phil Knight should pay him £493million for making Jordan so famous that he suffered personal harm from being repeatedly mistaken for him.
My wife limits sex to once a week
David Mason, 30, took his own wife Brenda, 31, to court after she rationed sex to once a week because she was scared of getting pregnant for a third time.
Mr Mason, a mechanic from Basingstoke, Hants, initially won his case in 1980.
But he lost on appeal when judges decided no court could rule that Brenda was being unreasonable.
God breached my baptism contract when I killed
Murderer Pavel Mircea tried to sue God for breach of contract, claiming the Almighty reneged on the deal made at his baptism.
“He was supposed to protect me from all evils and instead he gave me to Satan who encouraged me to kill,” he said.
Mircea, 40, serving 20 years, said God had accepted his prayers.
In 2007 he demanded reimbursement for what he’d spent on religious goods and offerings.
Romanian judges rejected the case, ruling that God is not a person in the eyes of the law and has no legal address where he could be served with papers.
Pineapple injury turned policewoman into recluse
Police officer Tracey Ormsby tried to claim £1.5million damages after being hit by a pineapple during a protest at the closure of a swimming pool in 2001.
The Glasgow WPC, 37, said more than three years later the slight injury she sustained left her a mentally scarred recluse, forced to quit her job.
But a court heard Tracey holidayed in Australia, France, Crete and Spain and that she yelled “Ker-ching, I’m in the money!” when a doctor diagnosed post-traumatic stress disorder.
A judge awarded £3,000 for the minor injury.
Ad lied and said I’d be a hit with ladies
American Richard Overton sued the maker of Budweiser in 1991 for false advertising after the attractive women in their beer ads rfailed to materialise in his own life.
The dad-of-three said the constant merriment was “untrue” and the drink had not improved his love life.
He wanted £6,500 from brewer Anheuser-Busch for mental injury, emotional distress and financial loss.
His case was dismissed.
Wrath of ‘God’ after Blaine performance
In 2005, Christopher Roller sued David Copperfield and David Blaine for using “godly powers”.
He claimed he was God Almighty and hadn’t consented to the magicians’ acts.
Roller, of Minnesota, USA, also claimed The Truman Show was based on his life and he planned to father one million babies with “wives” Celine Dion and US TV host Katie Couric.
The way university treated me stinks
A philosophy student sued his university after he was expelled for having smelly feet.
Teunis Tenbrook’s professors and fellow students at Erasmus University, Rotterdam, said it was impossible to concentrate due to the whiff.
After a 10-year legal battle, a judge ruled in 2009 it was no reason to expel him and said: “They must hold their noses.”
Which is your favourite bizarre court case?
4in tall Clio
Ageist sex claim
God and baptism contract
Comet and horoscope
Lag sues himself