With strange bedfellows.
— Shakespeare, The Tempest II, 2
AND strange bedfellows create misery for many men after that first acquaintance. Many men end up in bed with miserable women, and have to beat a hasty retreat in order to keep their sanity. Women are always having lively conversations about who gives more trouble in relationships – men or women. Naturally, they all say men are the culprits… you know how women are. To counter this, I say that men get a bad rap in relationships, and that their indiscretions are bandied about and broadcast through the feminine network. I quote the old saying, “Nuff fish bite man in the sea, but is shark alone get the blame”.
A man will do one bad thing and his partner will tell her girlfriend, who in turn will tell her girlfriend, until it escalates into the most heinous crime known to mankind. “All men are bad, and all men have doggish ways”, is what many women say. Men on the other hand, hardly talk about the wrongs that women do. Instead, they hold on to it, keep it inside, or go to the bar to drown their sorrows.
So while it is common knowledge that men philander, have women all over the place, are abusers, neglectful fathers, gamblers, and whoremongers, it is a little advertised fact that women also do bad things to wreck relationships. And even when they do these things, the women justify the actions and say, “It must be something that he did why she did that to him.” The truth shall be revealed, right after these responses to ‘Sexploitation’.
I am very disappointed with the view you seem to espouse so strongly in your column ‘Sexploitation’. It’s unfortunate that so many of us still seem to be unable to address the real problem of sexual exploitation, especially of young girls… without finding a way to blame the girls themselves for the situation, or without introducing ‘red herrings’ such as, “A she put argument to me”, or, “She willingly went to his room”. Don’t we see what a picture we paint of the men in these cases? Sigh.
There are many devious women who put the cream at puss mouth to get him to lick it. The pusses in most cases are wealthy and famous men, and these women aim to extort a large payday by claiming rape. They demand money to keep from going to the police and if that doesn’t work, they report to the cops that they were raped, then sue the real victim. That my friend, is the highest form of sexploitation.
Now seriously, who really wrecks relationships most of the time? Most women say that it’s men, and that everybody knows that. “Men are always doing bad things to good women.” But a little known truth is, it’s really women who destroy many relationships, if you’re to believe the research that I dug up recently. Remember, most men don’t talk about what their women did to them to mash up the dolly house, usually out of shame and embarrassment. Very few men will tell their friends that their woman abuses them, beats them, or confess that, “My woman give me bun (had affair) with my cousin and then leave me”. Oh no.
So here are a few hidden gems that show that women mash up relationships many times. For one, they don’t give the man enough props. Instead they constantly berate him, beat him down, tell him he’s no good and worthless, compare him to other men, until he wilts, withers and eventually leaves. “You are no good, why can’t you be like my ex boyfriend, Orville?”
Right on the heels of this is when women ridicule a man’s body. Men may not be as vain as women, who spend hours preening before a mirror, but still, no man wants to be told how fat and paunchy he is. “Ha ha, look at you, your belly so big you can’t even see your you know what.” After months or years of this ridicule, poof, the man is gone, or stays and suffers in silence. Either way, the relationship is wrecked.
Men enjoy attention too, and no man likes it when he’s talking to his woman and she’s constantly distracted, checking her Instagram, e-mails, WhatsApp, texts, or Twitter. No matter how much he speaks, she hardly hears a word that he says, as her head and attention are constantly engrossed in what’s on her mobile phone or computer screen. As he speaks, she logs on to her mobile device, he speaks more, she doesn’t hear a word he says, as she’s tuned in to her cyber world, so he tunes out, signs out of her life, and the relationship crashes.
This segues right into the very next point, that even when the woman does talk, all she talks about is domestic stuff. The man comes home from a hard day’s work. Maybe he’s a banker who has fiscal problems on his mind, or a politician who has constituency crosses. The first thing that greets him at the door is, “You forgot to take out the garbage again, the toilet bowl is running, the bathroom needs painting, the helper used too much bleach, and we need new mops.” She talks about nothing else but domestic matters, which just drives the man away, physically, or emotionally. Another one bites the dust, as she stays home alone and dusts, after he dusts her off and splits.
Some women don’t seem happy to see their men. Maybe they do feel happy inside, but it’s not shown, so the man doesn’t feel the love, doesn’t feel as if she misses him, or is happy in his presence. Men are sensitive creatures. You notice how happy a dog is, every single time, when it sees its master, even after a brief absence? Every dog owner will tell you how gratifying that feels. And yet they call men dogs.
Which just slides right into the age-old problem, that women take their men for granted. I have heard this from many of my male colleagues who complain that, “She just assumes that I cannot leave and that I’ll always be there, always be a good man, thinks that she knows me, takes me for granted.”
Always playing the victim is another way in which women wreck relationships. Men cannot do this, as men aren’t allowed to show weakness or vulnerability. But women have carte blanche on this. First it’s the pouting, then the sob story of a terrible past relationship, followed by copious tears. “Oh poor me, my mother used to beat me, and I had no luck with men.” How can a man counter that, especially in a new relationship? So he splits and she has one more sob story to give to the next man.
Never forgetting anything the man did in the past also wrecks relationships. I have witnessed grown men crying, all because they couldn’t take any more of the constant regurgitating of past deeds from their wives, who never forgot one incident that was done many years ago. “You slept with that damn Jezebel 10 years ago. How could you, have you no shame?” This tirade never stopped, every morning, every day, every evening, every night like clockwork for 10 years, as she never forgave or forgot. As my bredrin told me, “Even prisoners get paroled for good behaviour, but my sentence lasted forever.” He had to escape.
And finally, women wreck relationships by hardly having sex with their men. I have broached this subject many times over the years, how women withhold sex from their men and how it destroys relationships. It is well-documented and felt by men whose women lock shop on them for whatever reason. This destroys relationships, makes men look elsewhere, and then get blamed for straying.
So while men do wreck relationships by doing the clichéd, obvious, doggish things, such as physical abuse, womanising, having outside children, staying out late and such, women also destroy relationships by the subtle, innocuous, little things that wouldn’t stand up in court. “Come now, Mr Brown, nagging is not a crime under the law, neither is criticising your body.”
But those little things still have the same devastating effect as a wrecking ball. More time.